Written By: C. Michael Smith

Menstruation is a fact of life - PERIOD! Consider that the average woman has approximately 500 periods in her lifetime. She menstruates for around 5 days at a time, every 28 days or so, for what amounts to approximately half of her life. With menstruation playing such a large role in a woman's life and therefore the life of her partner, it's inevitable that menstruation will affect your sex life at some point. To exactly what degree it affects your sex life and how you choose to deal with it is based on your preferences.

PREFERENCES
There are no rigid rules when it comes to having sex on your period. Many people are fine with intercourse, manual sex, or oral sex during menstruation. Some people even find it exciting. Others are squeamish or uncomfortable and prefer to limit or even avoid sexual contact during this time. Plainly and simply, some people do it and some people don't. It all boils down to your preferences and those of your partner. Communicate your feelings on the subject and then respect each other's comfort zone and boundaries.

"Sex on the first day of my period is okay because it's always hardly anything anyways but I don't like to have sex during the next 2-3 days since that's when the flow gets heavier and I become more bloated, swollen, and sore. But by the 4-5th day, I'm ready to have some sex. I usually get pretty horny towards the end of my period." Anna, 21

IS IT HEALTHY?
For average, healthy couples with no sexually transmitted diseases, there are no significant biological or medical reasons to avoid sex during menstruation.

COMPOSITION
What is the physical makeup of menstrual discharge? 2/3 of it is blood. The other 1/3 is mucous, fragments of uterine lining, and cells from the vaginal lining. Menstrual blood is different from the blood in the rest of the body in that it contains more lime and doesn't coagulate, since it must pass through the body without clotting.

WHAT ARE THE RISKS?

Pregnancy: Many people believe that a woman cannot become pregnant while on her period. This is not true. While it is less likely than normal, it is certainly not impossible. Consider the following possibilities:

" Sperm can live inside a woman's body for several days after intercourse. It's possible that this timeframe will extend into the beginning of the woman's next fertile period.

" If a woman has a short cycle, it's possible that her bleeding may be ending just as her next ovulation is starting.

" Not all vaginal bleeding is the result of menstruation. It's not uncommon for a woman to have some small spotting or other mid-cycle bleeding that isn't a part of menstruation. If she mistakes this for her period, she may be having unprotected sex during her most fertile time.

Disease: Blood is a great carrier for infectious diseases, so having sex during your period can increase the risk of transmitting an STD. Unless you are in a trusting, healthy, disease-free relationship, you should always use a condom when you have sex. Period sex is no exception.

Pelvic Inflammatory Disease: There is some debate over whether or not having sex during menstruation increases the risk for exposure to Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. In either case, barrier methods of contraception (such as using a condom) will help reduce the risk of PID.

The bottom line is that sex during menstruation carries the same risks as sex at other times. Just remember that some of these risks are elevated during menstruation, due to the presence of blood. Be sure to use the same precautions with sex during menstruation as you would at other times, to prevent pregnancy and the transmission of disease.

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS?

" Some women experience a heightened libido around the time of their period.
" Some women claim a heightened emotional reaction to sex during menstruation.
" Many women experience stronger orgasms during their period.
" Orgasms help relieve cramping in many women.
" The period can produce a natural lubricating effect in the vagina in some women. Others claim a reduction in natural lubrication during menstruation, though.
" Some guys claim that their ladies feel tighter during their period, as their bodies experience bloating and swelling.
" It can be exciting to conquer what some people consider a taboo, such as period sex.
" According to a study of 2000 women cited in the March 2004 edition of Marie Claire magazine, those who have sex during their period were less likely to develop endometriosis, although there is no scientific studies that come to the same conclusion. .

WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT?
You can expect period sex to be a little different than what you are probably used to. Here are some things to prepare for:

" Frankly, you can expect blood. You may or may not see any, but when you engage in sex at this time of the month, you have to at least expect it, be prepared for it, and not be surprised if you encounter it.

" The woman's natural lubrication may have a little different consistency than usual. It may be a little thicker or gooier than during other times of the month.

" The vulva will likely have a different scent when the woman is menstruating. Some people describe the scent as being copper-like.

" The vulva will likely have a different taste than usual.

" You may need to put a thick towel down on the bed to protect the sheets and mattress. Use a brown or multi-colored towel to limit staining.

" One or both partners may wish to limit what they would normally do. Maybe they are comfortable with intercourse, but not oral sex. Or maybe they are comfortable with oral sex, but only near the clitoris, and not around the vaginal opening. Perhaps your partner is ok with external manual stimulation, but not internal manual stimulation. Make sure you know what your partner prefers. There may be things that they are not willing to do (or have done to them) during period sex.

COMMON CONCERNS & SOLUTIONS
There are many reasons why some people prefer to limit or even avoid sexual contact during menstruation. Here are some of the common concerns that people have along with some possible solutions that may help ease their concerns.

" It's too messy/Don't like the sight of blood. Try having sex on the lighter flow days, usually at the beginning and end of the period. Try having sex in the shower. Try putting down a brown or multicolored towel to catch and absorb the "mess". Try using a diaphragm, contraceptive sponge, or a menstrual cup during sex to block the flow.

" Cramping. It's been proven that orgasms can actually help to relieve cramping in many women, so give it a try if she is feeling up to it.

" Guy turned off by the sight of blood on his penis. Turn down the lights and/or wear a condom.
" She doesn't feel sexy. Guys, let your lady know that you WANT to make love with her during her period. Showing her that you still find her sexy and desirable will pay huge dividends for both of you.

" Your partner just doesn't feel like it. There are many reasons that your partner may wish to remain celibate during menstruation. Be sensitive to their needs and ask them what alternative forms of sex they may be interested in, instead. Communication, consideration, and compromise are the keys.

"I would love to (make love with my lady during menstruation) someday...blood on my penis wouldn't bother me, and would actually be sexy to me to know she desired making love that much with me. I know periods are a hassle and painful for ladies, but it's part of what makes them a woman, and to me, that's beautiful..!" Gregory, 34

OTHER ALTERNATIVES
We've already discussed the fact that not everyone will be all gung-ho when it comes to intercourse during menstruation. For those that just don't want to do it, there are some other alternatives to intercourse that you might consider during this period.

" Making out: How about a good, old-fashioned make out session? When is the last time you did that?

" Oral Sex: One or both partner may prefer oral sex to intercourse during menstruation.

" Manual Sex: Manual sex is very common among those who prefer not to engage in intercourse during a period.

" Anal Sex: For those that like anal play, now would be a great time to indulge yourselves.

BECOMING MORE COMFORTABLE
Unfortunately, the topic of having sex during menstruation, like many other sexual topics, isn't the easiest thing to discuss with your partner, but if you try to make menstruation a more open and normal part of your life, then it can become a more normal part of your sex life, too. You can make it a more normal part of your life by not hiding it and by discussing it openly with your partner.

" Women need to realize that it's ok to be "messy". This is tough for many women. They are taught that they are supposed to always be neat, clean, prim, and proper. You don't need to hide the fact that you are menstruating or be embarrassed about it. It's simply a fact of life of being a woman.

" Consider shopping for your menstrual supplies together.

" Don't feel that you have to hide in the bathroom to remove your tampon or pad. Try changing them in front of your partner. Asking for assistance might even be fun, even if you just ask them to hand you a new pad from the cabinet.

" Depending on how comfortable and adventurous you are, the two of can put some period blood on your finger to examine it. You may even wish to smell or taste it.

The idea is to get your partner involved and grow accustomed to menstruation in your life as a couple, so you each become more comfortable with it. The more comfortable you begin to feel about menstruation, the more comfortable you will become with sex during menstruation.

CONCLUSION
Period sex is a healthy, safe, and normal activity to engage in, provided you take the same precautions you would normally take during sex. Whether or not you actually decide to do it, and to what extent you decide to do it, is based totally on what you and your partner are comfortable with. So communicate your needs, wants, desires, and expectations with your partner, respect their wishes, and develop a roadmap so they know what to expect from you during menstruation and you know what to expect from them.

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